An Ominous Passage

It was a winter night, inside the hut, my great grandfather, a venerable old man over eighty, was sitting by the hearth, staring fixedly at the flames of a bundle of sticks crackling whether in pain or pleasure I know not - in the fireplace.

I was spending the Christmas holidays in the small and beautiful village where I had been born. I needed this rest after the heavy and arduous work of my previous term in the School of Medicine.

I sat looking at my grandsire with great attention. I felt that there was something mysterious in the old man's gaze, which roused my curiosity and was more appealing than the prettiest girl in the village. Finally, I spoke to him and said, "Granddad, you must be thinking of something both terrible and mysterious. I can feel it, for the sight of your deep gaze makes me shiver without knowing why."

"Yes, child", replied the octogenarian in a grave voice. "There are certain things in the mystery of life that cannot be forgotten. And though sometimes oblivion (Lethe) wipes out the images of things that we experienced, when the inevitable time comes, the time when the cycle of destinies brings us back to our mental starting point, these images become alive once again more phantasmagoric than ever. Thoughts then become poems that are sometimes tragic and oblige us to plunge into the past and re-live what we have experienced, feel if more intensely than ever, and so attain the notion of our eternity of Man in the Cosmos.

"You guessed rightly, child. I do not know whether these flames were caressing my gaze or whether through them, my gaze was following the dream of a reality which it has rarely been given to a mortal to see."

The north wind was blowing and thick snow lashed against the shutters of our hut. My father, an old farmer, had gone to bed after a tiring day's work, followed by my mother. Household thrift was a gospel to her, so she had put out the small lamp before leaving,' since she considered the reflections of the flames from the hearth ample enough light for what we had to say and do with my great grandfather.

My youthful imagination made me think that, sitting next to this skinny old man with such a deep look and throbbing voice, I was in the presence of a colossus, a Homeric athlete, a Herculean hero of ancient mythology. I shrank to the edge of the hearth, as if wishing to give place to the grandeur of my forebear.

In a voice that was almost a whisper I said, "Granddad, speak, I'm listening; don't stop now. After what you just said, this silence is very painful. You see, Granddad, to me, your speech is light whereas the silence that follows it is darkness. I do not fear the light, but darkness frightens me."

While speaking I looked all around me at the darkened room and, in the harrowing reflection of the flames, I kept seeing the distorted shadows of the objects hanging from the ceiling in their crazy dance.

"Son", the venerable old man began. "I was about your age when my Teacher (Mentor) Elimarius died, leaving me, his disciple, to face the effectuation of the very many mysteries whose existence he had taught me."

"You will understand the state of my soul and my spirit all the better when I tell you that this respected Teacher modelled and kneaded my mind and gave it a form, thanks to which I was thenceforth able to live."

"At his death, his work of creating me was complete, but I, his creation, had still to take the first step in the path to which he had directed me."

"One day, when my sorrow had eased, and concern about my eternity had reacquired its rights over me, I was on my way, silent and thoughtful, - I was in Egypt at the time - to the pyramids, these almost antediluvian monuments. There, silence and peace were the reigning Masters."

"All at once, one of these unexpected inspirations came and shook me out of the torpor of passiveness that had overcome me since my Masters death."

"I heard the venerable Elimarius speak to me about the invisible regions beyond the visible ones of Creation. He said, 'Disciple, when your imperishability has been completed, by betraying your physical form for a few seconds, you will be able to enter into these regions that are inaccessible to Man. But you must then be prudent, for terrible guardians defend the entrances there. However, if you should feel such rashness within you, do not forget that in the presence of these guardians you must be straightforward and that your Ego must bravely affirm your invulnerability.' "

"These words of my defunct Master reached my perception transcendentally when I was at a small pyramid that rose south of the Pyramid of Mykerinou. Since I had been there quite a number of times before, I entered without hesitation into the familiar corridor that sloped downwards. A few minutes later I was crouching in one corner of the burial chamber, more than 14 metres below ground level."

"The deep darkness all around, together with an indescribable silence, gave me the impression of a void extending almost to nothingness."

"Gradually I instinctively fell into a state of contemplation. The result was one that I cannot remember ever having experienced before."

"Life, the beings living on Earth, Matter, and the whole world seemed to fade away within me as in a dream, to the point that I actually began to have no perception of material things."

"In my intense desire to hang on to life, I tried to rouse some feeling of terror or pain, so as to return to reality. But all these kept vanishing and becoming a dream. At that moment I was a being stripped of all the things it had experienced, all terrestrial potentialities, as if about to don a new substance or essence, and enter in a likeness of a new life."

"But the sound of the turn of a key in a lock brought me back to reality. To my amazement, I saw a door open in the smooth wall right in front of me. My astonishment was even greater at the sight of a man~ dressed in a monk's attire, approach me calm and serene. I tried to stand up but couldn't. The man came near, laid his hand on my forehead and said in a sweet voice, 'Follow me, disciple' "

"This contact had the power to disengage me from the heavy and thick Matter, which had previously seemed an almost unbearable burden. I seemed to float rather than walk as I fearlessly followed my unknown guide. We went through the door that had opened before me and entered a passage that I guessed led westward. The darkness was thick, but thanks to a phosphorescent light coming from my guide in a mysterious way, I was able to follow without hesitation."

"This corridor was level at the start, but then it gradually began to slope upwards, making me feel that we were ascending to the surface of the earth: Still, my astonishment was great when I suddenly found myself in broad daylight, though I did not recognize the horizon that I was used to seeing, and was filled with anxiety when I realized that my guide had disappeared. I kept walking in a region with no other image than light - a colourless, amorphous light. What was strange was the fact that this light was inhabited by living beings that I could see without seeing, whose presence I could feel but could not give a form to."

"I had hardly begun my wanderings in these new regions when I was suddenly grasped by something like very strong hands in a grip that paralyzed me, forbidding me all movement Then a voice without sound, indefinable but strong, said to me, 'Rash being, how dare you break the chains of life and enter into this area where you have no right to stay! Your rashness was great and the time of punishment has come.' Instead of frightening me, these threatening and overbearing words made a chord of rebellion vibrate within me. I recovered and tried with all my strength to shake myself free from the tight hold of this invisible dragon. I heard myself say in a piercing voice words that I cannot repeat, words that impressed me profoundly."

"It was as if a being long dead within me had come to life and had resumed its tights. The hold relaxed and, like a shadow, the being vanished from my eight. Then something strange happened. I was no longer alone. I was no longer myself, for a being had been born within me. Although familiar, it was wholly unknown to me. Faltering, I addressed this 'alter-Ego', saying, 'Oh noble ray, born of my feeble being, your Word affirms its authority over the gigantic beings of these unknown regions, thus filling me with joy and humility. How is it that up to this day I was able to bear you within my modal flesh without feeling the effects of your greatness?' "

"And my 'alter-Ego' replied, 'I am the light of your spirit; you are the melting pot and I am the metal. Your merit is great for you resisted the pressure. This is what permits me to manifest and affirm my presence to the guardians of the regions of our immortality. We are not two at all. You are the melting-pot; I am the metal.' "

"At these encouraging words, a change took place inside me and the wisdom emerging from the depths of my being was diffused and became one with me. Both of us, united in conscience, crossed serenely these unknown regions, free from all obstacles."

"To tell you about the secrets of this other life that I crossed would be too lengthy a narration, son of my son. Time and space blended intimately together, and almost at once I found myself on the brink of an abyss Beyond it, twinkling lights made me guess that there was some life there, similar to the one that I had left behind. At the sight of this new region, I felt my 'alter-Ego' tighten within me and blend even more with me, while an intense desire kept drawing me towards this new place that I could now discern."

"Always as if floating, I plunged into the abyss without fear of falling, trusting in my newly acquired capabilities, which had become manifest with my disengagement from the cosmic regions. Clear visions were revealed to my perception. I saw myself amid a flowering and fertile landscape. A sweet light with soft brightness animated this new Nature, imprinting profound peace on all its manifestations. This gave rise to an inner joy within me. How I wished I could live forever in these sweet and serene surroundings! Enchanted, I flew about like a butterfly, touching everything in a dream of exaltation. As I was wandering here and there in a carefree manner, I suddenly found myself surrounded by a chain formed of 7 persons of an enigmatic mien. An eighth one sprang in front of me. He was tall and handsome, with starry eyes. He looked at me for quite a long time and then said, 'Why have you entered this area and why are you wandering about like a stranger lacking all conscience of the truths that are found here?' "

"The man's words were simple and clear, but I was troubled at the sight of him and his companions, and no answer would come to my assistance. A painful feeling overwhelmed my whole being and I felt that I would faint and disappear. Then a reaction, whose inner nature I cannot define, heartened me and a host of luminous words appeared in my spirit as if coming from a being hidden within me, deeper than the first. On hearing the wise and enlightened words that I uttered, which I cannot repeat to you, the features of the person who had addressed me became serene. I immediately saw the chain of 7 break up and I was left alone with him. He went on, 'Blessed man, proceed on your way, for a ray of the Divine Ego has been revealed to you. Under Its guidance you will be able to learn the mysteries of this region and bear witness of them on Earth'. "

"I left, full of joy, but confused to observe a third person revealed within me, one that participated in my overall life, both in the cosmos and beyond immortality. No poet can ever describe the expression of the beautiful ideas that were revealed to me in my course. No artist can ever imagine these regions of a lost paradise!

"Happy in the threefold conscience of my self, I crossed these regions and lived tirelessly ... "

"Like a poisoned arrow darting from the nether regions, conceit crossed my being and shook me. My entire behaviour betrayed this imperfection, for I could no longer withstand the gaze of the beings dwelling in these regions. I then felt that I was an exile in an alien land and, in spite of my happiness, the memories of terrestrial things weighed heavy upon me."

"This depression grew greater by the minute until I was caught in a tongue of flame. Like a straw in a whirlwind, I was flung from inconceivable heights down to the deep gorges of Matter. I felt that I was falling, that I was losing myself in an unknown abyss, and everything around me was in turmoil! A terrible jolt shook my body and I found myself in the burial chamber, 14 metres under the ground. I was sweating and choking and, as a last impression of the vision, I heard a burst of laughter. It was Matter, which was resuming its rights over me, for I was once again among the living."

"Like one in a drunken daze, I dragged myself towards the entrance to breathe some air. A few minutes later, I was in the shadow of the ruins of the Temple of Mykerinou, going over again those distant things of my dream. I had the feeling that those events and I were centuries apart."

At these words the old man's gaze lit with the signs of youth as distant as his visions. The fire in the hearth was dying out and the last small flames projected my grandsire's colossal shadow on the ceiling.

I drank in all his words and likened the person before me to a hero of the Titanic battles of cosmogony.

MEGAS ATTICOS